is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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