ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
