My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
