Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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