party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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