So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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