I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
