you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
