You work out of a Hotel?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
