wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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