Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
