She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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