you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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