I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
