I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
