I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
