I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
