i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
