i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
