There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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