You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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