the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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