Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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