nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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