I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
