so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
