I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We just shotgunned beers for America
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
