You really coming over, don't trick.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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