I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
