the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
