Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
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Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
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I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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