i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
