she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
