are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
