we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
