If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
