She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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