So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
