her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
