I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
