Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
