Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize