what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
