I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
