You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
