its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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