turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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