i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We are all done wearing pants today
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
