shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
