Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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