I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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