id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize