Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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