i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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