I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
