Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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