i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
