Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
