He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
