She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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