these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
